We recently reported on new research that suggests that many married couples who have been together for a long time are still deeply in love.
The national survey of married Americans found that 40 percent of those who'd been married at least 10 years said they remained "very intensely" in love with their partner.The study sought to determine whether long-term romantic love was just a rare phenomenon, but researchers found just the opposite. Even for the longest marriages -- three decades or more -- 40 percent of women and 35 percent of men said they were still madly in love.
So we turned to TODAY Health readers on Facebookwho have had happy, successful, long-term marriages, and asked the million dollar question: Just how do you do it?
Some gave us insight into truly amazing partnerships. Susan Hennink Olthof says she is still "deeply in love" with her husband of 40 years. Their secrets?
"Commitment to our marriage, laughter, shared values and faith in God, willingness to allow each other to grow and change...I could keep going! We're not perfect individually, but as close to being as perfect a couple as I know!"
Peggy Zampetti Frederick has been married for more than 35 years. She says she and her husband's longevity secret actually isn't a secret at all.
"We make a conscious effort to remember that it's not about "me" . . . it's about "us". With this philosophy and the ability to laugh at our many foibles, we have weathered many a storm."
Many readers also shared photos, along with their stories and marital advice. Read on to see what keeps them ticking, from weekly date nights to common interests to making sure the marriage recipe hasingredients such assupport, humor and trust.
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As someone deeply involved in the field of relationships and human behavior, I can attest to the credibility and significance of the concepts discussed in the article about long-term romantic love in marriages. While I cannot directly cite my involvement in the mentioned research or the exact survey, my expertise in psychology and relationships allows me to provide insights that align with the findings mentioned.
Firstly, the research's key findings—indicating that a considerable percentage of long-married couples continue to experience intense romantic love—are in line with numerous studies in relationship psychology. Over the years, various scholars and researchers, including John Gottman, Esther Perel, and Helen Fisher, have extensively explored the dynamics of enduring love and successful long-term partnerships. My knowledge draws from a synthesis of their work and similar empirical studies that highlight the possibility and sustainability of profound love in enduring relationships.
The notion of maintaining a deep connection in long-term marriages, as expressed by Susan Hennink Olthof and Peggy Zampetti Frederick, resonates deeply with established psychological principles. Their emphasis on commitment, shared values, mutual growth, humor, selflessness, and a focus on the partnership rather than individual needs echoes foundational concepts in successful relationship dynamics.
Factors such as shared values, faith in each other, the willingness to grow together, and prioritizing the relationship over individual desires are consistent themes found in relationship counseling and psychological literature. These elements contribute significantly to fostering and sustaining enduring romantic love.
The article's mention of activities like weekly date nights, shared interests, support, humor, and trust as ingredients for a successful marriage corresponds with well-documented relationship enhancement strategies. Regular quality time, mutual interests, emotional support, laughter, and building trust are indeed recognized as vital components for strengthening the emotional bond between partners.
Moreover, the mention of how external stressors, represented as "storms," can be weathered through a mutual "us" mindset further aligns with resilience-building strategies proposed by relationship experts. Acknowledging challenges as shared experiences and maintaining a cooperative, team-oriented approach during tough times is a cornerstone of enduring relationships.
In conclusion, the concepts highlighted in the article draw from well-established principles in relationship psychology and marriage counseling. These principles, such as commitment, shared values, mutual growth, prioritizing the relationship, shared activities, humor, and support, collectively contribute to fostering and sustaining profound romantic love in long-term marriages.
