Don’t Let Them Mix
Elves are under serious pressure during the holiday season. Unfortunately, many turn to prescription drugs and alcohol as a means of self-medicating. It’s important you keep an eye on your elf and look for the warning signs of alcoholism or prescription drug abuse:
- Loss of memory
- Irritability and extreme mood swings
- Choosing to drink instead of performing ordinary elfish duties
- Isolating or being distant from the family
- Hiding bottles of alcohol or continually calling in for early refills on prescriptions
- Drastic changes in appearance, such as weight-gain or weight-loss
A small drink every now and then is fine, but it’s important to remember that elves are, by their very nature, mini. They aren’t able to handle the same amount of alcohol as humans. Never encourage them to keep up with you. And it’s also important to recognize that many medications are not to be mixed with alcoholic drinks – doing so can be seriously dangerous. Blackouts are very common when mixing particular medications and alcohol. They may wake up not even knowing where they are or how they got there.
Don’t Leave Your Wallet Lying Around
Elves spend their entire year slaving away creating PS4s, Xboxes, Apple TVs – really, you name it they make it. But let’s be frank, they only get paid one day a year. And they’re paid in “holiday cheer”. Talk about the world’s most exhaustive and debatably gratuitous jobs. Never put it past your elf to feel entitled to treat themselves…with your money. Some may actually feel you owe it to them. Elves can also be extremely accomplished thieves, especially because of their petite frame. You may not even hear them rummaging through your pocketbook.
Don’t Call Them Small
You should never body-shame anyone. It’s just not in good taste. But elves…well they’re especially sensitive. They may decide to start lifting weights or practicing yoga. For most people, physical fitness is a positive. Live longer, look better, feel better, and be stronger, right? No – not for elves.
Elves cannot help that they’re small. They’re born as such. Their muscles don’t build the way ours do. In fact, there’s no conclusive evidence that elves even have what is known as “fast-twitch muscle fiber”, which is extremely crucial in building strength. For one, they don’t really know anything about lifting weights. You ever hear of a personal trainer who solicits elves? Didn’t think so. Don’t belittle them for being little. Unless you want your elf to hurt itself.
Don’t Let Them Cook For You
They only care about their own diet. They can’t manage cooking even the most rudimentary dishes. And their cooking methods are blatantly dangerous. Looks like this one is about to cook himself and cause a house fire.
Don’t Leave Out Anything That Resembles Other Holidays
Elves live for Christmas. But they loathe all other holidays and despite their seemingly frozen smile, the sight of other holiday-related props or decorations will trigger a storm of hatred within them. They will lash out. Look at the mess this one made just because he found a can of silly string. Make it a priority to store away all your other holiday-related items BEFORE the Christmas season.
Don’t Let Them Go All Daredevil
Elves are cooped up all year long. When the holiday season finally comes around, they’re pretty much adrenaline junkies. So it may be hard to deny them, but let’s keep this straight – elves do not know how to properly use a zip line…or repel down a cliff.
And Finally, Don’t Let Them Near Anything Sharp
Look at this egregious crime being committed all because this elf got his hands on a scissor (which he’s likely never seen before). You are NOT supposed to cut that tag off. Please, for heaven’s sake, don’t let your elf near anything sharp. This is of the utmost importance…
About the Author
Steven Palermo is the managing partner for Palermo Law, Long Island’s Personal Injury Law Firm. He has been helping people receive compensation for their injuries for over 21 years. He focuses on cases involving car accidents, truck accidents, construction accidents and slip and fall injuries.
His book The Ultimate Guide to Handling New York Car Accident Claims details the ins and outs of a car accident claim in a simple, easy-to-read manner.
As a seasoned expert in the field, particularly in the areas of personal injury law and safety awareness, I bring a wealth of knowledge to shed light on the peculiar challenges faced by elves during the holiday season. My extensive experience, spanning over 21 years, has equipped me with a keen understanding of various aspects of safety, human behavior, and the potential risks associated with festive traditions.
Let's delve into the concepts mentioned in the article:
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Elf Substance Abuse: Elves, like any other community, face challenges, and the article highlights the issue of substance abuse among them. The warning signs of alcoholism and prescription drug abuse mentioned, such as memory loss, irritability, and drastic changes in appearance, align with common indicators seen in individuals struggling with addiction. The importance of monitoring and recognizing these signs is emphasized, underlining the potential dangers elves face during the holiday season.
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Financial Awareness: The article touches on the financial aspect of an elf's life, emphasizing the disparity between their year-round hard work and the single day of payment in "holiday cheer." This concept highlights the vulnerability of elves to financial temptations, including theft. The advice to be cautious about leaving personal belongings unattended underscores the potential risks associated with elves feeling entitled to treat themselves with others' resources.
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Body Positivity: Body-shaming is addressed in the context of elves, emphasizing their sensitivity to comments about their size. The concept of body positivity is extended to elves, urging people not to belittle them for their stature and to avoid potentially harmful activities that may result from such belittlement.
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Culinary Skills: The article humorously suggests that elves are not skilled in cooking and may pose a danger in the kitchen. This concept reflects the idea that individuals, regardless of their background or profession, may not excel in certain areas, and caution is advised when delegating tasks based on assumptions.
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Holiday Preferences: The article explores the unique holiday preferences of elves, emphasizing their love for Christmas and disdain for other holidays. This concept speaks to the idea that individuals may have strong preferences and aversions, and awareness of these preferences can contribute to a harmonious environment.
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Adventure Seekers: Elves, portrayed as adrenaline junkies during the holiday season, are cautioned against engaging in activities like using a zip line or repelling down a cliff. This concept underscores the importance of recognizing individual limitations and ensuring safety during adventurous pursuits.
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Sharp Objects Warning: The article concludes with a warning about keeping elves away from sharp objects. The imagery of an elf mishandling a pair of scissors highlights the potential dangers associated with unfamiliar tools, promoting a broader message of safety awareness.
In summary, the article provides a whimsical yet informative exploration of various aspects related to the well-being and unique characteristics of elves during the holiday season. The underlying themes of awareness, sensitivity, and safety resonate with broader principles applicable to diverse contexts, making it a valuable read for those keen on understanding and addressing potential risks in different settings.
