What does stonewalling mean in a relationship?
What does it mean to stonewall someone? In simple terms, stonewalling is when someone completely shuts down in a conversation or refuses to interact with another person.
A controlling wife believes in tough love, she hardly shows emotions except that of anger, she mistakes being mean for being blunt. She's bossy, authoritarian, confrontational and uncomfortable when things are not done her way. She takes control of a relationship from the onset.
The term gaslighting became popular in the 1960s. It is used to describe the manipulation of another person's perception of reality. Gaslighting is a common tool used by narcissistic and abusive spouses to control their partners. When done correctly, gaslighting can make a spouse doubt their own senses and memory.
Flooding in conflict increases negativity in a relationship. The name flooding refers to a flood of stress hormones (such as adrenalin and cortisol) to the nervous system) that generates what is commonly known as the 'fight or flight' response.
If there is no more active investment in your relationship, it could be a sign that one or both of you have already subconsciously made the decision to call it quits. Interviewing divorce lawyers or speaking to real estate agents to “keep your options open” likely means that you don't really want your options open.
- You're Always Criticizing Each Other.
- You Don't Have Sex Anymore.
- You Have the Same Argument Over and Over (and Over)
- You Don't Argue Anymore.
- You Don't Enjoy Spending Time Together.
- You Start Keeping Secrets.
- You Think About Having an Affair.
- You seem to be his last priority. ...
- The relationship is centered on sex. ...
- He's distant. ...
- You feel like you are chasing him. ...
- He doesn't ask you how you're doing. ...
- He can't tell when you're upset. ...
- You don't feel comfortable around him. ...
- The two of you don't really talk.
Examples Of Stonewalling
Every serious conversation begins with you criticizing your partner while they ignore you. Your partner avoids getting into serious arguments by making up excuses or saying they are busy. Your partner likes to roll their eyes at your remarks and won't make eye contact.
Stonewalling is the refusal to communicate with someone. This means that your spouse refuses to listen to you and your concerns. Stonewalling is one of the most prevalent narcissistic abuse techniques.
Stonewalling is often born of frustration and fear, and when it is used alone, it may occur as the result of a desire to decrease tension in an emotionally overwhelming situation, or in an attempt to self-soothe.
How do you respond to stonewalling?
So, if you are stonewalling and feeling flooded, say that you need a break using whatever signal, word, or phrase you and your partner have decided upon. Let each other know when you're feeling overwhelmed. Then, you need to walk away and do something soothing on your own.
