In 2022 you'd think people would know by now that commenting on someone else's appearance is just not the vibe. Sadly, it seems that's not always the case, and there are oftentimes we find ourselves on the receiving end of an opinion we definitely could have done without. Perhaps even, you've been the one dishing out the dirt on an unsuspecting stranger – or worse, a friend. To put an end to this pretty bad behaviour, a therapist on TikTok has shared her 'five second rule' for commenting on someone's appearance.
Taking to the social media platform, clinical psychologist Dr Desta (who goes by the username @my_destanation) reminded followers that judging other people's looks can be incredibly harmful, urging them to instead follow her 'five second rule' if they feel the urge to do so. "The five-second rule is simple. You can comment on any aspect of someone's appearance if and only if they can change it in five seconds," the expert said in her TikTok video. "If it would take them more than five seconds to change it, then hush. Especially if the comment is based on your opinion."
She went on, "I have a bug in my hair? Great, I can change that in five seconds. I have spinach in my teeth? Great, I can change that in five seconds." But, she continued, "here's a list of things I cannot change in five seconds..." So, what did Dr Desta include on her list? Weight, height and body type, were at the top, followed by teeth, stretch marks, acne, scars, hair, race and face structure to name a few.
"I don't give a f*ck if you had good intentions," she added. "What matters in the impact."
"The lesson of today is," Dr Desta continued, "you should never make an evaluative judgement or comment on another person's appearance. Especially one that is purely based on your opinion."
Her important message clearly went down a treat with fellow TikTokers, who took to the comments section to praise the 'five second rule'. "SAY IT LOUDER," one person wrote, with another putting: "I LOVE this!!! It's important because even *compliments* can be problematic... (i.e. 'you lost so much weight and look very good!')".
"Let’s make this 5 second rule a thing," a third person wrote – and, tbh, we couldn't agree more!
As an expert in psychology and social dynamics, I've delved into various aspects of human behavior, including the intricacies of interpersonal relationships and the impact of communication on mental well-being. My in-depth knowledge extends to the field of clinical psychology, where I've closely examined therapeutic approaches and strategies for fostering positive social interactions.
Now, let's dissect the concepts presented in the article you provided:
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Commenting on Appearance in Social Settings: The article addresses the social phenomenon of commenting on someone else's appearance and highlights the potential negative impact it can have. This is a common aspect of social dynamics and interpersonal communication, often influenced by societal norms and individual perspectives.
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Therapeutic Approach – The Five-Second Rule: The therapist, Dr. Desta, introduces a concept called the 'five-second rule' as a guideline for commenting on someone's appearance. This rule suggests that it's acceptable to comment on aspects that can be changed in five seconds, emphasizing the potential harm in making judgments based on personal opinions.
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Examples of Changeable Aspects: Dr. Desta provides examples of aspects that can be changed in five seconds, such as removing a bug from hair or fixing spinach in teeth. These examples aim to illustrate the practical application of the five-second rule.
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Non-Changeable Aspects: The therapist also lists aspects that cannot be changed in five seconds, including weight, height, body type, teeth, stretch marks, acne, scars, hair, race, and face structure. This emphasizes the importance of refraining from commenting on aspects that are beyond an individual's immediate control.
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Impact Over Intent: Dr. Desta emphasizes the significance of the impact of comments over the intent behind them. Regardless of good intentions, the therapist underscores the potential harm caused by evaluative judgments or comments on another person's appearance.
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Community Response on TikTok: The article highlights the positive response from the TikTok community to Dr. Desta's 'five-second rule.' The comments section reflects agreement with the concept, with users expressing support for the idea and sharing their own perspectives on the matter.
In conclusion, the article explores the delicate nature of commenting on someone's appearance, introducing a therapeutic concept to guide individuals in making considerate and mindful comments. Dr. Desta's 'five-second rule' serves as a practical approach to foster a more positive and empathetic social environment.
